My MHM Products
I’ve gotten a few questions about the exact products I use for MHM, so I figured I’d just create a quick post to answer it for everyone in one place.
As far as the ingredients for all the DIY products:
- I started with the Bragg’s Apple Cider Vinegar, because that’s what I had on hand. I ended up grabbing a store brand organic ACV when I ran out, and found it smells stronger than the Braggs. Both work just fine, but I intend to use Bragg’s when I run out of the store brand.
- I tossed the container of benzontonite clay, so I don’t remember the brand. I bought it at Whole Foods.
For deep conditioning and co-washing I use Face Values brand Tea Tree Conditioner, which I bought from Harmon. It’s the no-frills version of Paul Mitchell’s Special Tea Tree Conditioner.
For Step 4 (Leave-in condish) I use Kinky-Curly Knot Today, which I got on Amazon.
For Step 5 (curl definer) I use Miss Jessie’s Multi-Cultural Curls, which I get on Amazon, or at Sally’s Beauty Supply. This is the one item that doesn’t strictly adhere to the Maximum Hydration Method’s no-no ingredient list. I tried Kinky-Curly’s coiley custard, which was the most commonly used curl definer among all the blogs I read. I found that my hair really didn’t respond well to a gel, so I returned to

Miss Jessie’s Multi-Cultural Curls
Miss Jessie’s, and I’ve been pleased with the results.
I’ve thrown everything else out. So I don’t have oodles of product around my bathroom anymore, which my family really appreciates.
I hope that answers your questions. As always feel free to reach out on Instagram @TR_Patmore, or on Facebook!!
30 Days Later | My So Called Post-MHM Life
“What happens after MHM?”
According to the Research…
Post-MHM Life & Me
- The baking soda rinse is all about lifting the cuticle of your strand, so that you can dump as much hydration into it in the conditioning step.
- The clay removes the excess product from your hair, so in the end you’ve got a plump, shiny clean strand.
- Leave-in conditioner gives that last moisture dump, and the curl definer hardens around the strands, forming a cast. This causes the curls to clump, and if I’m being honest, this is as far as I ever got with my hair process. I had no real concept of the final step.
- The final step is the one where you fluff and separate the clumps of dry curls very gently. It’s also the one where you put the oils on the ends of your curls to help them look less frazzled. Skipping it leaves the roots of your hair weighed down more, making it less likely to curl up there the next day.
By the end of the 7 Day Challenge I’d learned the various textures of my hair.
- Fluffy and dry.
- Mega friction squeaky clean.
- Slippery and conditioned.
- Crunchy.
I found that I could predict the final result by the way it felt when I’d finished styling. I learned how to define that Goldilocks combination of slip and friction, and that I still have a lot to learn about my hair, and a lot to learn about myself.
- I have to learn that my hair is supposed to stand up. That’s what it does. Frizz is going to happen. I have to remember that it isn’t just curly girls who battle frizz, it’s everyone.
- I have to learn how to get the top of my head to curl all the way to the root.
- I have to learn to embrace the round shape of my hair, and stop feeling like it looks messy.
- During the step one rinse I use a spa headband to catch the drips.
- During the deep conditioning I wrap a scarf around my head like a turban.
- I use a shower cap for the clay step, because that stuff can be messy
- I got a wave cap for plopping my curls.
In the end my process comes down to this:
- detangle dry hair
- apply diluted warm conditioner from root to tip. Clip into a bun atop head.
- detangle in shower
- apply diluted leave-in followed directly by curl definer in sections (experiment with this daily).
- separate and scrunch when completely dry. apply oil to ends as needed.
- de-tangle dry hair
- apply clarifying rinse with spray bottle. clip into bun atop head. use spa wrap to catch drips. 30-60 minutes.
- rinse. apply diluted conditioner root to tip. clip into bun atop head. use scarf and spa wrap to contain. 15-30 minutes
- rinse. apply clay rinse root to tip. clip into sections (experiment with configuration). contain with shower cap 15 minutes
- In shower, rinse in sections. Return hair to sections after rinsing. Alternatively rinse all in one mass and section with clips before leaving shower.
- apply diluted leave-in followed directly by a little extra curl definer.
- plop hair until 80% dry.
- separate and scrunch when completely dry, apply oil to ends as needed
If I’m being honest, I put off MHM days. As I’m writing this post summer is upon us, and it doesn’t always make sense to let my curls loose. There are lots of updos, and hair buns happening, and with two kids home, it’s hard to find the time to get through the entire process. I won’t put it off forever. That’s how I know the impact the Maximum Hydration Method has had on my hair. I’m still willing to do it.
Would I do the 7 Day MHM challenge again?
Absolutely!
MHM Day 7 Reveal & Review
It’s finally here! The final day of MHM. It’s a strange feeling. I thought I’d be more excited. There’s a lot more burnout involved than I’d imagined, but I’ve never spent so much time actively worrying about my hair. It’s been quite a journey. Here’s my final day’s re-cap:
Step One: ACV and the rest of the option 2 baking soda rinse.
Steps Four & Five
The Reveal:
My MHM Assessment
The real question is, would I do it all over again?
MHM 7 Day Challenge- Days Three -Six
MHM Day 3
Step One: Option 2 baking soda rinse.
Step Two: Deep Condition
Step Three: Clay Rinse
Steps Four & Five: Leave-in Conditioner & Curl Definer


MHM Day 4
Step One: Baking soda ACV
Steps Four & Five:


MHM Day Five
Step One: ACV
Steps Four & Five :
Day Six
Step One: ACV
Step Two: Condition
Steps Four & Five:


MHM 7 Day Challenge– Day Two
Step One: Clarify
Step Two: Co-wash and De-tangle
- overnight;
- for 15 minutes—just use warm water or tea with the conditioner
- for 15 minutes—just use warm water or tea with the conditioner, and use a steam hood.
Step Three: Clay Rinse
Step Four & Five: Leave-in & Curl Definer
MHM 7 Day Challenge- Day One
MHM Step One: Detangle and Cherry Lola

The clay rinse is slightly more complicated. If I’d bothered to read the directions more clearly, I would have seen the recommendation was to use an old 32 oz shampoo/conditioner bottle. It wouldn’t have mattered, because I didn’t have one of those, but I feel like I would’ve tried harder to source one. I mixed the conception in an old ricotta cheese container. It’s supposed to be a liquid consistency, but I left it a little gloppy. I figured I’d have to add water to it when I used it the next day, and would handle it in the moment.

This clay rinse is too thick to be used as-is, but I can add water when I need it.


MHM Step Two: Deep Condition
Option 1 is to apply the conditioner mixed with temperate water, to your soaking wet hair, and leave it in overnight under a shower cap.
Option 2 is to apply the conditioner mixed with warm water (or tea), and then sit under a steamer hood (if you have one) for 15 minutes.
Option 3 is the same as option 2, just without the steamer hood, under a shower cap for 15 minutes. Alternatively, you can sit in a hot shower and let that function as a heat source, but that may be a big wasteful for some folks.
MHM Step Three: Clay Rinse
MHM Step Four & Five Leave-in & Curl Define
Before the MHM Challenge- My Curl Regimen



- Yes, your hair will get frizzy, but your straight haired friends are having frizz problems too. Unlike them, however, you can twist your wet hair on either side of your part, and pull both sides into a cute updo. Your straight-haired friends just have to deal with their flyaways, cause you’ll be looking fly that way. See what I did there? I’m adorable.
- You will have to completely give up your blow-dryer, AND your flat-iron. I’m not talking about giving it up only for special occasions either. Every single time you use one of those appliances you are burning the strands of your, already hollow and porous, hair. Sure, some of the newer products mitigate that damage, but just like decaf still has a little caffeine, you’re not avoiding all the damage. In fact, your hair is not going to be at it’s best until all that damaged hair is gone. Besides, you know how you feel when you see that girl with the perfect coils and you think “My hair never looks that good. She must have special hair.”? Well if you start now you CAN have that hair. It will take some time, some adjustment, and probably a little investment. In the long run, however, curly hair is a lot easier to manage and predict that you think. The same way you learned how to handle your straightened hair, you can learn how to have amazing curls almost every single day!
- You will fall in love with yourself. I can’t overstate this enough. You shouldn’t hate your reflection. You shouldn’t roll your eyes every time you see yourself in a picture. Some people would call that vanity, and perhaps there’s a line somewhere, but loving yourself is one of the best gifts you could give yourself. For me, embracing my curls was synonymous with embracing the me who I am. I was born with curly hair. I’ve gone through the same curl-hate, strand punishing dictatorship. I was only ever happy the first day of an awesome blowout, but it wasn’t me. I was dodging rain, and cursing humidity as if the weather was personally out to get me. It didn’t happen overnight. It took time, and Pinterest, but little by little I started to see more and more good hair days. Once, the pizza delivery girl looked at me stunned, and said, “You have the best hair I’ve ever seen!” At the time, I thought she was nuts, of course, but it takes time. Nowadays, I do wish I could have less frizz, but on the whole I’m proud to wear my hair high. It’s so much fun to play with!
- Children will be inspired by you. I don’t mean this to sound weird, okay. There are tons of little curly headed boys and girls out there who only see beauty associated with glossy, straight, usually blonde, hair. When little curl-kids see my hair, especially on a good hair day, I can see the looks in their eyes. It’s the same one I had for the Noxema Girl– a recognition that curly hair can be beautiful, and that means I can be beautiful too. Everyone deserves to believe that. You can be person, but first you have to love your curl.
- You’re going to have to learn to read a label. Hair is skin, right? It’s a part of your body, and as such, you should know what you’re putting it in. Not all products are made for your hair. Things like Vitamin B5 builds up on your hair like a protein, and are really hard to remove. Avoiding things on the MHM-No-No list is a good way to get started.
The MHM 7 Day Challenge & Me
I found it while browsing the web for a new conditioner. My hair conditioner wasn’t packing the same punches like when we first got involved, and my curl definition was suffering. I’d picked up a bottle of Carol’s Daughter cleansing conditioner, but it felt too drying.

My hair really needs a change.
Day One:
- Cherry Lola
- Deep condition overnight
- -you can also choose to add warm water to the conditioner, and keep this on for 15 minutes—a steamer hood will enhance this.
- Clay Rinse
- Style
- – in sections with leave-in and curl cream. It’s important to note that you should condition and define each section before moving onto the next. You should also remember that oil products, like serums, should be applied last because they create a barrier over your hair strand. The idea is to fill the strand with moisture, and then create a protective barrier. So keep that in mind as you go along.
Day Two:
- Clarify
- choose from the three rinse options
- Co-wash & Detangle -you can choose to apply conditioner overnight, as in Day One; or either of the 15 minute methods
- Clay Rinse
- Style
The Rules:
One day equals a full cycle. Ideally, it is recommended to complete in consecutive days, but that may not work into your life. Still, the count happens by cycle, not by day.
You must complete all 7 days!
Choose hair care products (conditioner, leave-in, curl definer cream) without any of the following products:
MHM No-No Ingredients TEA-triethanolamine, or any other ethanolamines i.e. MEA, DEA Hydrolyzed what protein/peptides Panthenol/ Pro-Vitamin B5 Glycerin & Propylene glycol Mineral Oil and waxes Polyquats Silicones Denatured & drying alcohols Salts and Sulphates Aloe Vera Juice & Coconut oil may cause sensitives for certain hair types, so use your best judgement on this


- They don’t curl to the root.
- They feel weighed down and dry at the same time
- My hair seems to not be growing, or has reached its length potential. I’d like to see if I can grow it longer.
- The curls aren’t the full spirals I know they can be. It’s obvious my hair is suffering from too much product and not enough moisture.
Clay Rinse
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1 cup
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Bentonite clay powder
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1 TBSP
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honey
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1 TBSP
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olive oil
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2-3 cups
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water
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mix together for a creamy consistency add water if it’s too thick until you have the consistency you need.
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Baking Soda Rinse option 1
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1-2 TBSP
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Baking Soda
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1.5-3oz
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conditioner
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mix together in an applicator bottle
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Baking Soda Rinse option 2
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1-2 TBSP
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Baking Soda
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2 TBSP
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Honey
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1 tsp
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Olive Oil
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6-10 oz
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water
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mix together in an applicator bottle
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Apple Cider Vinegar Rinse
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1:1 ratio ACV to Water in an applicator bottle
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The Cherry Lola Treatment
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2 cups
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Greek Yogurt
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2 TBSP**
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Baking Soda
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2 TBSP
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Organic Apple Cider Vinegar
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2 TBSP
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Coconut liquid aminos, or liquid soy aminos
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1/2 TBSP
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Raw Honey
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1 TBSP
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Unsulfured molasses
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1/2
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overripe plantain or banana
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3/4 TBSP
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Avocado
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1
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Egg (optional- I left this out)
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Instructions
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Step One
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Blend the ingredients in a blender.
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Step Two
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Detangle your completely dry hair
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Step Three
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Selfies!! Post your big hair selfie on Instagram and tag me @tr_patmore #JustMyInkblotBigHairDontCare
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Step Four
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Saturate hair with mixture. Cover with a shower cap. Leave in for 1.5-2 hours.
Rinse.
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**Because this is intended for 4C kinky hair, and baking soda can disrupt curl pattern, I only used 1 TBSP of this.
Liquid aminos can be found near the soy sauce.
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That Time I Accepted Myself…
The day my husband told me that I should “become a writer” I got mad at him. A writer wasn’t something you woke up and decided to be. A writer was someone who spent a lifetime honing their talent, and crafting their story. It was most certainly not me.
At the time I was twenty-six, sixteen weeks pregnant, and recently laid off from my job. I was scared. Let’s be honest, no one is excited about hiring a pregnant woman, and we hadn’t even had the conversation about child care yet. We’d been married only a few months. I’d finished my first semester towards the Master Degree in English Education I was working towards. I didn’t know how I’d manage school, work, and a pregnancy, but now I knew I wouldn’t be able to go to school without having a job. This was an out-of-nowhere tangle I hadn’t even considered when we’d decided to get pregnant quickly. My reaction to his suggestion was badly directed, of course, but I didn’t know it at the time.
At the time I was reacting to the idea of “being a writer”, and how I had no idea how to even accomplish something like that, and, yes, I got mad. What I didn’t realize was that my fear wasn’t in becoming a writer, it was in having to learn how while also learning how to keep a tiny human being alive. I didn’t even consider the extra work hidden in there. Things like laundry, or washing walls, or after school activities. I didn’t think about baking cupcakes, or being Class Mom. Instead of realizing that I was scared to enter two worlds as foreign as writing, and child-rearing. I just got mad. I got mad, and then I got busy. Eight years later, I am a writer. I am a writer who has written things. I am a writer who is currently writing a novel.
The journey to get here has been a difficult one. There’s been all kinds of reasons: life’s challenges, the need to teach myself about novel structure, software, time. The biggest problem, however, has been me.
There. I said it.
Maybe you don’t think that’s big news, and maybe you agree with me, and maybe you knew it all along, but I only just made the connection.
I’ve been torturing myself for years, reading all the writing books I could get my hands on. They all say the same thing: Write. Write every day. Create a routine. Develop a habit.
Some books go as far as calling me an amateur for not following their advice. Others tell me I am giving in to my inner demons. All of them make me feel like a complete failure, because I simply could not find a way to write every single day.
I tried all kinds of things. Getting up early. Going to bed early. I’ve tried Bullet Journeling (which actually helps, but doesn’t solve the time problem). I’ve tried deleting social media, and games on my phone. No matter what I did, I couldn’t solve for the problem that ten AM on Tuesday was never the same as ten AM on Wednesday. Ever.
Three weeks ago, I had an epiphany. “What if I just accept that I’ll never be able to do what those books tell me to do?” What if my life isn’t the kind where writing will ever have the chance to be a routine. What if I accepted that if I want to write, I have to fight for it?
I won’t say that some divine light shone down on me from above. It didn’t. In fact, I wasn’t really sure what acceptance would bring me. For a moment I considered that perhaps I couldn’t be a writer, right now. That didn’t sit very well with me either. The novel I’ve got trapped in my mind needs to be written. I owe that to the teenaged girl out there who thinks that she is defined by the choices being made for her, and to the boy who wants to be more than his small town can offer him. That girl is worth fitting twenty minutes of writing in between loads of laundry.That boy is worth using that free thirty minutes I have after I get home from the supermarket to work a scene. The story I’m writing is worth carving out some time, whenever I can find it, to put words to paper.
I’ve written almost every week day since.
Isn’t that amazing? For years I’ve beaten myself up for not being able to do the work of two women, despite the fact that I’m only one. I’ve criticized myself for not being able to balance raising children, running a household, and being a wife, with creating a universe out of nothing. We do so much damage to ourselves without even realizing it. I cursed myself for not achieving more, instead of realizing how much I actually do achieve every day. I engage in self-destructive behavior when I didn’t do it all, instead of feeling encourage by what I was doing.
All I had to do was accept myself.
I had to accept that I haven’t been writing full-time, because I have an actual full-time job. I had to accept that even though I don’t get paid for the laundry, the mopping, the bathing, the cooking, the planning, the coordinating, or any of the duties inherent in being the stay-at-home parent, it is still a job. In fact, it is more than a full-time job. It is a 24/7/365 job. I had to accept that the writing I do is work above and beyond the work that is expected of me.
Once I received this self-acceptance I suddenly was able to see myself as the juggernaut I really am. That I have almost a third of a novel written is now something I can say with pride, instead of shame. That I’m completing scenes as a faster rate than every before is a testament to my epiphany.
Maybe this blog isn’t going to get the attention it probably deserves. Maybe I don’t have the time to write an article a week, while still writing scenes in my manuscript. Maybe you’ll understand. Maybe you’ll get tired of waiting for me to write a new post. I’ve also accepted that I don’t have to know the future. That’s not a prerequisite for this job.
The only thing I have to remember to do is write whenever I can, because each one has been carved out of the time it takes to do the hardest job in the world.